When uncertainty kicks in – it’s time to get honest with yourself.
When we’re in a state of uncertainty – we’re uncertain about a direction or we don’t know what to do, it can lead us, very quickly, to feeling lost and hopeless. Like there is no solution and we are at the mercy of the situation.
It can and will drag us down if we don’t get on top of it.
And here is the even more concerning part: feeling lost and hopeless can then shift into frustration. And as that level of frustration grows, it’ll start to come out as anger and even hatred towards ourselves and others.
It’s time to be honest with yourself and get specific on the actual issue that is causing you the problem.
Uncertainty…
Comes from a place of chaos within yourself.
It’ll start with some questions and doubts you may have about someone or something – and in a lot of cases, rather than deal with it, we ignore it or distract ourselves with other things. (And there could be many different reasons for this but that’s for another blog).
But as time moves on our uncertainty grows. It’s not going to vanish. There are now too many options to consider – too many fears to face, too many things that could happen or might not happen the way we’d like them to. And so before we know it we feel like we have no control. We feel stuck, powerless and at the mercy of a person or a situation.
Uncertainty will eat at you.
And STILL we try to ignore it.
This state of feeling uncertain can and will fester and become something even more toxic and damaging to not only you, but those around you too.
But you can regain control and take your power back.
How to get to the specific cause
Yes, you can absolutely use EFT/Tapping to help with your feeling of uncertainty. It is always my go-to.
But sometimes, with EFT, depending on the person and how attuned and open they are to their inner voice, it might not be quick enough.
So there is another tool that you can use to help you drill down quickly to a more specific issue.
It’s an amazingly simple tool that every single coach on the planet will know, as well as anyone that has worked with a coach will likely know too.
It has a few different names, but I call it: The Life Wheel.
This ingenious little wheel can help you to get specific about what the actual issue, or issues, that you might not be wanting to face or are, I hate to say it, in complete denial about.
How the Life Wheel can help with uncertainty
Let me start with the instructions of how to use this wheel.
N.B. If you are past the stage of feeling unsure or uncertain and are now in a state of hopelessness or feel lost – this is still a great tool for you. Hopelessness and loss come from you feeling like you have no control over your life.
This will help you gain more clarity and you can start to put steps in place to regain that control and sense of personal power.
I advise printing it out so that you can have it in front of you and mark it and draw all over it. It’ll help with the visual element to show you where you are “right now” in your life.
As you can see, it has eight quadrants all labeled with what are generally understood to be the main areas of life.
Some coaches will add other sections to it, and you can certainly expand on it. But for now, these eight sections will help you gain some clarity on where you are and what is bothering you.
Here’s what you do
Similar to EFT – you are going to rate the different areas of your life on a scale of 0 – 10.
The inside or centre point of the life wheel is ‘0’, where you deem things not good/you’re not happy with it.
And the outside of the wheel is ’10’ – which means you are really happy and wouldn’t change a thing with that area of your life.
And so now, in each area of your life (represented by a specific quadrant), go ahead and mark where you feel you are in your life right now.
I am underlining ‘right now’ because it’s important that you do this from a place of how you feel today, right in this moment.
You’re not thinking back to when times were happier or more peaceful. Nor are you thinking about when times were hard and projecting that down onto the wheel either.
It’s about right here and right now.
Even last week is currently irrelevant at this moment in time.
Simply stay in the present moment and be completely honest with yourself.
No one has to see this wheel but you.
Here is an example I’ve done up for you:
My life wheel ‘right now’
Each marker (star) represents where I feel I am today. Right in this moment as I write this.
- Spiritually and Emotionally I feel I’m at an 8.
- Health is at a 4. (Because I know I could be doing better and I feel a sloth-like right now).
- Partner is a 9 (he doesn’t normally read my blogs – so chances of him seeing this are slim… 😊).
- Vocation (my job) is at a 5. (Not because I don’t love what I do, but I feel I could now be doing more and stretching myself into further endeavors. So, I’m not entirely happy with where I am right now).
- Money is a 3. (Probably don’t need an explanation!)
- Personal Development is at a 5.
- Family/Social is at a 4.
An overview of your uncertainty?
So, on looking at those eight key areas of our life, we can see where some of our issues are stemming from.
If you wanted to break it down further, you can.
Because, lets say that your Family/Social is low or mid to low. Perhaps break it down into more detailed sections. Look at your children, your siblings, your mum, your dad, your aunty, your uncle, your cousins. Anyone and everyone that is part of your immediate family. Get specific.
Rate how you feel about them so that you can pinpoint where an issue may be coming from.
You can break any and all of these sections down further if you wish to really help you figure out a core issue.
I worked with a someone a few years back who was actually training me on the techniques of coaching and when she first did this exercise, she realised how unhappy she was within her marriage.
She had pretended and distracted herself with every other part of life until she eventually had to admit that there was a problem.
Once she made that connection though, she was able to start putting the puzzle pieces of her life into place. She was no longer unsure as to why she didn’t feel ‘whole’ as it was blankly staring her in the face.
She was now able to make an informed and honest decision about how to move on and deal with it.
But she had to get honest with herself first.
Life Wheel completed
In the coaching world, when using the life wheel, there is one more element that we use to drive home the point of where you are in your life right now.
More of an analogy really, but here it is:
You connect the dots.
And the analogy we use is “If this was a wheel on your car – how far would you get?”
And as you can see, my life wheel on my car wouldn’t even get me out of the garage!
But what I can absolutely see is that I’m not entirely satisfied with a few areas of my life.
She just needed some focus
Rachel had been coming to see me on and off for a while. (I was her “make sense of things” person – as she called me. 😊)
Despite tapping on herself, she couldn’t figure out why she felt so unsure of “everything”.
She was working very hard on building her business, and it was coming along in leaps and bounds, but she just felt agitated and lost about everything else outside of the business stuff and just couldn’t figure out why.
We started the session by tapping just to help her calm down. Because you can’t make informed and clear decision about anything when you’re all pent up!
I then pulled out the life wheel and put it on the table in front of her.
She didn’t even need to write on it. All she needed was ‘a way in’.
She needed a trigger.
And as soon as she saw the wheel she said, rather loudly (yelled it actually!) “MY HEALTH!”
The realisation
During the last six months of working her butt off on her business, Rachel had completely neglected herself and her body. She had even put on a few kilos but had ignored them.
And although she was an avid boxer and runner, she had put that off in order to spend an extra hour on her business every day. She felt out of control with her health and had continued to ignore it to the point where it had become an issue.
Within minutes, however, she felt she had gained back some control – simply because she had an awareness of what was missing and was prepared to look at it and own it.
It was actually that simple.
Owning it and deciding to do something about it is not only the first step but the key to regaining some control over the uncertainty. You will feel better almost instantly once you’ve made the decision to do something about it.
Now, in terms of Rachel’s situation, some might say “well that’s pretty obvious” – and from the outside I guess it is. But when we get caught up in our day to day lives and we’re distracted or focused on other targets and goals, we can easily forget about, or push to the side, the normal things we do on a daily basis that keep us sane.
We stop listening to the inner voice and get caught up in other peoples energy or the situations energy.
How do you deal with it once you know the issue?
In the case of Rachel, it would be a simple case of her carving out some time to get back into her exercise routine. She needed to put herself first, for just an hour a day, to get her head back in the game and to clear out any cobwebs.
However, in the case of someone like the coach I used to know, some tapping could help if she felt she wanted to save the relationship.
It’s possible to pull apart exactly where she felt it was going wrong, or had gone wrong, and try to work towards repairing that.
But essentially, it’s all about taking a step.
It’s all about doing something to help figure it out and fix it rather than running from it or pretending that it doesn’t exist.
Because that just doesn’t work.
Time to take your power back
The truth of the issue is – the moment you decide to take control of your life and get honest with how you feel about something or someone, is the moment you’ll feel strong and capable again. You’ll no longer feel uncertain. You’ll feel ready and unstoppable.
Are you ready?
Are there too many options? Or is something bothering you but you’re struggling to admit to it?
Do you want some clarity and to feel powerful and in control of your life again?
There is absolutely a way through and I’d love to connect.