Change how you feel and the world changes with you

There is an energetic and emotional ripple effect when we work on how we feel about something, or someone.

You can create that change.

 

How working on yourself can change those around you

It’s something I see time and time again.

Someone comes to me feeling upset or angry. Annoyed, frustrated, even resentful, at how they are being treated. Be it by a single person or by a group (normally family), and they just don’t know how to cope or deal with the situation.

What people don’t realise though, is that what they are dealing with, is energy. It’s the energetic link between people that cause the emotions to surface.

When you can release or break the energetic link that is creating and feeding the tension, i.e. you make a change to how you feel about it, things have a funny way of simply no longer being there.

Because now there is nothing for anyone to feed off of.

If you change how you feel about them, they, completely unconsciously and unknowingly, change how they feel about you.

Does that sound complicated?

I promise you it’s not.

Let me give you a true scenario (or maybe two 😊) of what I’ve seen happen when working with our feelings.

 

Julie wanted to change how her family saw her

This is actually very common and also something that I see, not just with clients but even in my own relationships. We’re all guilty in some way, shape or form, of holding onto a version of someone. Siblings, old friends, aunties and uncles, mum’s and dads. They see us as we were. And no matter how much we change and grow. Now matter how much we show up as someone else (because we ARE now someone else!), we are treated as the person we were twenty years ago.

AND it always seems to be the ‘bad’ stuff that they remember and hold over your head!

So, when Julie came to me she was upset that all of her family – her mum, dad and brothers, were still holding the past over her.

In her eyes, all she had done was move to a different state to be with her boyfriend.

She was still in the country! But had moved a couple of states north.

Julie only ended up being there for a year as the relationship didn’t work out. But her mum stopped talking to her for the entire time she was out of state and that caused tension within the family home.

 

All of this became “Julie’s fault”

Despite her not even living in the house for those 12 months – it was “all her fault”.

She was belittled and had snide comments thrown at her regularly, and when she started to see a new man it got worse.

She eventually moved in with her new boyfriend and would visit the family regularly – but nothing was changing. The energy was exactly the same no matter what she did.

Intentions, affirmations, ignoring it, challenging it, playing nice – nothing changed.

It was then that Julie actually came to see me because she felt completely alone and broken. Her family held her responsible for causing all of the drama of that year.

We started by tapping on her feelings of being treated like she did something wrong. How she was carrying the burden for an entire household’s unhappiness by doing something that she felt was right for her.

We tapped on how she felt about moving away for that year and how she felt about leaving her home for a man when the relationship didn’t work out.

And then we moved onto some more specifics about her parents, although the majority of it came down to her mum.

We pulled apart the emotions that Julie felt around her mum and how her mum was treating her. It was a no-holes-barred session. Julie expressed herself freely and honestly and, yes, there were tears.

By the end of the session she was calmer and said: “I’m seeing them this weekend”.

I asked her how she felt about that and she said she was ok with it and wanted to go.

 

A change had occurred

The next week Julie contacted me to say that she couldn’t believe it.

She said it was like having her old family back and that she actually fit in and felt like part of the family again.

She was relaxed and calm and so was everyone else AND, more importantly, not a single snipe or negative comment was directed at her. It was like the event had never even happened and everyone was ‘back to normal’.

By Julie releasing and letting go of the emotions that SHE felt – she was able to influence the energy within the entire family group. It was now a happier and more loving environment.

And she did that!

 

Disconnect the emotions between you

I see the energy of people as a bubble that we get stuck and caught up in. Negative emotions can and will fester and continue to grow the longer we leave it and don’t deal with it.

But all it takes is for one person to realise and own what they are feeling to break that connection. When you can let go of and disconnect how you feel about it (negative emotions) that then allows the energy to start flowing freely again. And everyone, strangely, will benefit from the work you’ve done.

More often than not, when I start working with someone on issues they have with other people, I hear the same thing: “It won’t make a difference if I change – mum/dad will still treat me the same”.

But again, from my own personal experience of working with hundreds of people, that isn’t true at all.

Something bigger happens.

As I mentioned at the very beginning of this blog: when you change YOUR energy and how you feel about the situation or that person, they then have nothing to feed off of.

 

How quickly you can instigate change

Before I add another story into this blog I want to quickly share what happened to me just last week.

When I looked at my diary for the coming couple of weeks I realised that I wasn’t as busy as I had been. A big part of me wasn’t worried and I’ve reached a stage where I now, pretty much, trust everything that is happening. And with it being the end of winter where hibernation is comforting and healing, plus I was beyond exhausted so could use some down time – a part of me thought: “Well this is quite nice”.

However! The human/ego side of me got a little freaked out. “What about money? What about all the things we’re saving for? This will put us behind!” etc. etc.

So when I get like that and I’m aware that I’m starting to feel a little anxious or worried (anything negative really) I go straight to tapping. Negative emotions don’t serve me or my health so I tend to pounce on them as soon as I realise what is happening.

I began tapping, simply, on what I knew right in that moment, which was: how freaked out I was that I didn’t have any clients for a few days.

After approximately five or so minutes, I’d calmed myself down and I was then ok to carry on enjoying some free time.

But get this: literally, and I mean LITERALLY, within ten minutes of me finishing tapping, a client called me to book in for the next day.

And this isn’t even the first time this has happened.

THAT IS HOW QUICKLY THIS STUFF CAN WORK! (And it’s in capital letters because I’m excited!!!!) 😀

If you CHANGE YOUR ENERGY, which are essentially blocks within your energy field and body, it has an incredible and dare I say, miraculous way, of all falling into place.

 

Another story of change

Marissa had an issue with something that had come up in her place of work that was really getting to her.

She’d been biting her tongue for a few weeks, but she’d now reached boiling point and she felt completely hopeless.

She was very good at her job and many people praised her unique talent and ability. But there was someone else at the company that not only did what she did but was also ‘higher up the food chain’.

Every time Marissa would add her unique flair to a routine and made it stand out, her colleague would change it behind her back.

Finally, she’d had enough of this and confronted them on it. But it blew up and she was yelled at and stood over and was left having to “like it or lump it”.

We talked about any logical options she had, like taking it higher up the food chain. But it appeared it wouldn’t make a difference.

 

And so we got to work tapping on how she felt about it all.

We tapped on how she felt about this person, specifically.

Then we tapped on how she felt about having her routine changed as well as the fact that it was all done behind her back.

We also tapped on how she felt about the fight and the aggression that her colleague had shown towards her.

It was then that she realised something. The reason why her colleague was treating her this way.

It was their way of getting back at her. AND, it was for something that was out of her control but that she was being blamed for.

She realised that her colleague needed to resume some kind of control over an event that had recently happened. And this was their way of doing it…

Marissa was suddenly calm and felt completely ok about going back to work in a few days.

 

A shift in the energy

A couple of weeks later I saw Marissa again and I asked her how things were at work – specifically with “said colleague”.

She said: “Its weird (a regular response with EFT). It all feels completely normal and we’re talking and getting along just fine. It’s like nothing has even happened.”

I asked if any further changes had been made to her routines and she said “no, they have completely left me alone”.

And then I asked: “And if you go to work today and you see that part of the routine you have created has been changed, without any discussion or input from you, how will you feel?”.

And she said “I’m actually ok with it. It’s not going to bother me at all”.

So not only had Marissa reached a different state energetically and emotionally, but her colleague had too.

There was suddenly peace within the ranks.

 

A final point around change

Someone might read these stories and think: “Why should I do this work when it’s the other person’s problem?”.

And I completely understand that.

In the case of Julie and her mum, it is clear that Julie’s mum had the issue. But she didn’t look at that and deal with it. Instead, she deflected and put her ‘stuff’ onto her daughter.

Looking at our own stuff can be very confronting. Having to face our past traumas, embarrassments and beliefs we’ve picked up along the way, isn’t easy. To say to ourselves: “Oh my goodness, I was completely wrong”, seems to be something we struggle with.

To show weakness and vulnerability is not (yet) normal in today’s society. And so we will sometimes do everything possible to stay and be seen as right. Even if that means hurting another person to do it or cutting off our nose to spite our face.

 

“Might is right”

…as some people believe.

Now this is not me making excuses for these people. But we have to remember that everyone is trying to figure out their own journey. And the truth is, even if we don’t understand it, it is harder for some people.

But if you, the brave one, can look at your own stuff and your own shadows. If you can look at how you’ve dealt with situations and acknowledge your mistakes. You may even come to an understanding about another person’s journey. How they’ve come to be who they are today.

You not only help yourself but you help them too.

It can also, if they are awake enough, help them to see that it is actually ok. Its safe for them to open up too.

So BE the ripple effect in everyone’s life.

You’ll change the world that way.

Lets chat!

Annoyed, frustrated or upset about a situation?

Are you being treated unfairly and feel there is no way to change it?

Perhaps we can….  🙂

I’d love to connect with you and go on your journey with you.

Contact me here